January you little tease you! 

Updated: Feb 4, 2020

I'm sorry, but I genuinely think I'm going crazy.

Surely I'm not the only one that's ever felt so internally full of anger, frustration and all those yucky feelings you just want to shout?

Rather than bang on about how last year was like a stupid race jumping over hurdles and sometimes bashing face first into them, I've decided to write this very brief entry and take this opportunity to ask if you or anyone you know has ever had an ayurveda oil massage before? - random I know but relevant... Stay with me...

Had dinner with a friend of mine last week and because of course I wanted to keep the evening as light hearted as possible I down played how "meh" I've truly been feeling..

It was then that she told me about her experience of having an ayurveda oil massage.

Dude, it sounded so mystical, relaxing, refreshing and soul opening I had to Google it straight away. (cheers Google for the following info)

5 Surprising Benefits of the Ayurveda Oil Massage: 1. Eliminates body impurities and helps in reducing weight. 2. Calms nerves and promotes deeper and better sleep. 3. Softens and smoothens skin, reduces effects of ageing. 4. Improves blood circulation and stimulates internal organs. 5. Detoxifies the body.

Sounds pretty cool and intriguing right?

Now, if you've been following my story you will know my main issue has always been during sleep or about sleeping:

Sleeping at the wrong time. Disturbed sleep. Great sleep, bad seizures. Over sleeping. Not sleeping enough. Crazy nightmares. Waking up laughing. Waking up crying or screaming. Sitting up in my sleep. Sleep fighting. Vivid dreams. Dreaming inside my dream (that one I'll never get used to). My sleep gives me anxiety without even being consciously anxious. I'm tired of it (see what I did there?) ha!

I've been to too many doctor/specialist appointments, had numerous examinations and a couple medical procedures... I think now is the time to "ask the audience" to throw me some suggestions for herbal, natural or Any kind of remedies to help/figure out what's causing/prevent these frigging night seizures!

Photo of how I went to bed last Thursday with breathing kit to rule out sleep apnoea (we're at that "process of elimination stage" now)

I love the support that many of you have shown to me through our TLP webshop (takes my mind off "things") and your words of encouragement throughout my own personal journey - thank you. But please may I make a point to exclaim I really am just a weak human being (aren't we all sometimes?).

I think it's important to be unashamedly honest with ourselves.

Side note: During the last 6 months without realising I've put on more than half a stone which is very very new for me. And before anyone huffs at that statement and says "you lucky b word" just bear in mind those pre and teen years of bullying I went through for being "stick thin" and even my young adult years where people would pick at me for being "so light enough the wind could blow me away".

Uh huh, underweight people do get bullied too you know but I'll save that for a different blog.

I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. And I can't stop. (no, I'm not pregnant and this is the heaviest I've ever been without carrying).

I'm pleased with my weight gain (it's been a long term goal of mine) but genuinely concerned with how years of working on putting it on has now come so easy and quickly. Of course, I could just be getting older and metabolism slowing down but you know when you just KNOW something isn't sitting right with you? Yeah...


What to do eh?

Ooph, anyway. I want to give this ayurveda thing a go.

If you have any advice, tips, tricks, thoughts, or recommendations on where to get such soothing or similar treatments done in London please feel free to send me a message!

A frustrated but still thankful...

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